10 Things I Would Not Want To Find In Chicken Nuggets

found in chicken nuggets

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As it turns out, pink slime is not even the grossest aspect of chicken nuggets.

The smart cookies at Underground Health examined McDonald’s chicken nuggets under a high powered microscope and discovered something they ‘never anticipated to discover’ even after ‘a years of analyzing food and nourishment.’ They found ‘dark black hair-like structures standing out of the nugget mass, along with light blue egg-shaped structures with affixed tail-like hairs or fibers,’ but that’s not all, they also found ‘odd red coloring splotches in several places, as well as a spherical green item that looks like algae.’ Take a minute to let that sink in or to go puke. If you did not already chunder, look into the highly detailed images taken by the Natural News Forensic Food Lab here.

Underground Health makes sure to cover their bases and not suggest that consuming McDonald’s chicken nuggets will eliminate you immediately, but they believe an FDA investigation in warranted. After all, chickens don’t have hair, so wtf is a hair-like structure doing in nuggets purported to be consisted of chicken?

We’ve actually all heard tales of junk food hamburgers embellished with rusty screws and milkshakes complete with rat’s tails and whatnot, but those grody accidents appear to be more apparent of inadequate hygienic practices as opposed to twisted frankenstein meat solids. Aside from spherical green objects and hairlike fibers, what’re the last things I ‘d like to discover in my bird meat nugs?

10 gross things that should not be in chicken nuggets:

  1. A threatening note– This isn’t how I wished to learn someone was trying to eliminate me.
  2. Teeth– Imagine your nugget smiling back at you. So alarming!
  3. A cigarette butt– You can’t simply bread a cigarette and call it a chicken nugget.
  4. A shredded $100 bill– Not only is currency filthy, but it’s useless if it’s torn up.
  5. An unwrapped condom– Do not inspect to see if there’s ejaculate in it.
  6. An empty drug baggie– As frustrating as the $100 bill I can’t make use of.
  7. Nazi paraphernalia– I ‘d rather consume a toothy nugget than a bigoted nugget.
  8. Someone else’s engagement ring– Somebody at this McDonald’s is going to be disappointed by this mixup.
  9. Human toe with green nail polish– This isn’t how it went in The Big Lebowski(1998)
  10. Memento Mori– I am currently eating junk food– I do not really need to be advised of my own death.

Other than human hair, I’ve actually never ever discovered anything gross in my food, but perhaps I am simply not looking hard enough. Maybe I’ll get a microscope or something.

Story via Underground Wellness / / Image by means of Shutterstock