Red Bull May Not Give You Wings, But It Will Give You a Refund

red bull settles in a $13 million class action lawsuit, health foodsOkay, Red Bull: you can cut the crap. Recent information of a $13 million course action settlement by the business has validated my own strongly-held beliefs that the energy beverage does definitely nothing for you.

The basis of the suit declared that Red Bull’s notorious energy drink does not have a pretty vital part: um, energy. The business has actually long touted the claim that the drink will ‘offer you wings’, a tagline that can at best be referred to as false marketing. As someone skilled in the art of caffeine consumption, I’m telling you that Red Bull does not hold a flame to a cup of coffee or anything that was once even from another location connected with a coffee bean.

The case discovered that an 8 oz. can of Red Bull (84 milligrams) contains roughly half the caffeine material of a 7 oz. cup of drip coffee (115 to 175 milligrams). Kind of contrary to the entire company advertising project, no? It’s not surprising that Red Bull settled.

The suit influences countless customers and essentially consists of any individual who misguidedly bought a can over the last years or so to obtain them through a long day at work or to disastrously blend with their vodka. Eligible recipients will receive either a $10 refund or a $15 Red Bull item purchase (shipping thanks to Red Bull).

I have two questions for Red Bull consumers: 1.) why would anyone select a product purchase over a refund when a law court simply ruled that Red Bull is about as reliable as a placebo? and 2.) why in the world did you ever consume this stuff in the top place? It tastes like 4 Loko, minus the fun colors.

Regardless, go get your $10. You are a SUFFERER.