Resource Water: For Rich Trendy Lady Idiots Who Love Awful PR Campaigns

RESOURCE-WATER

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The optimal customer for brand-new mineral water brand Resource Water: a mid-thirties female of ‘greater earnings’ who’s trendy, cool and a full pinhead.

For some mysterious reason, Nestle has actually chosen to come out with a bottled water marketed toward ladies with money who in some way think that consuming a specific brand of ‘high-end’ water put into plastic will make them cooler or calmer. Pro pointer: It’ll not.

Resource’s group marketing manager Larry Cooper says that Nestle is attempting to market toward ‘a female who’s a little more on the stylish side and higher-income side, and the bull’s-eye is 35 years old.’ This is comically stupid, and verge on the stupidity of Mike Jeffries, the highly-mocked CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch (albeit Cooper is obviously less dreadful in a number of ways).

Oh, and their PR sucks:

First of all, she’s in a presumably public park attempting to meditate and is in some way shocked that there are other individuals taking pleasure in the park, too. (If it isn’t a public park, possibly she ought to call the authorities and get these jerk shadows from her lawn.) She drinks the water and everything becomes calming, tranquil then – circus-like? Is this bottled water or Absinthe? Or just the most incredibly stupid mix yoga-improv course’ final task?

Bottled water is currently absurdly wasteful and unneeded. Do we truly require yet another brand name of it stacking onto land fills? Er, sorry, garbage dumps are for inadequate individuals. Resource Water consumers shall toss these solely around the Cayman Islands.