Sorry To Crush Your Basic Dreams Of Blacking Out On Pumpkin Spice Four Loko, But The Whole Thing Was A Hoax

Pumpkin Spice Four Loko, nutrition

Starbuck’s announcement that the much loved Pumpkin Spice Latte would show up early this year was followed by a cumulative cheer, a smart Twitter account, and a landslide of rumors– like the Pumpkin Spice-flavor condom.

And then, even more horrifying: The release of a Pumpkin Spice Four Loko.

The absurd concept of packing the once-popular (still popular? I’m not in college any longer) malt liquor energy beverage with the basic b * tch trademark flavor may have been interesting for some. But I hope nobody was holding their breath (or waiting to break out their NorthFace coats), due to the fact that the Pumpkin Spice Four Loko is simply a scam.

We hope you are not ‘actually dying’ after hearing the information, but unfortunately, Twitter account @ Things4WhitePpl’s Tweet, publishing a picture of the recommended (and really fake) drink was nothing more than click bait for sorority girls and individuals who, OMG, just “actually enjoy this weather condition!” The image was likewise posted on 4 Loko’s Facebook page. The photo was soon picked up by a variety of media outlets– including Elite Daily, Bay Location CBS affiliate KITS-FM, and Intricate– and the headline “Pumpkin Spice Flavored Four Loko En route” went into potency.

According to Gawker, Four Loko says the entire parody was suggested to be a joke … at least, for now. I think you’ll have to continue getting your coffee and alcohol repair (without any real liquor) with Starbuck’s gross beer-flavored coffee.

While I appreciate their humor, I’m thankful there won’t be any of the pumpkin spice related deaths or trips to the health center that would definitely occur if this whole thing were for realsies. And that I won’t be lured to attempt it.

Where will the pumpkin spice jokes end? I’m not sure. However I’m completely delighting in the after-effects– like this botched photo of the Spice Girls showcasing their latest member, Pumpkin Spice.