Twinkies Came Back From The Dead, But They Came Back Wrong

zombie-cake

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This zombie would’ve preferred the new twinkie over this dumb cake.

Remember on Buffy the Vampire Slayer when the Scooby group reanimated Buffy Summers and she returned wrong? That’s precisely what happened to Twinkies.

After Hostess shut down last year, Twinkies and various other treat cakes were purchased by by Apollo Global Management and Metropoulos & Co, private equity companies renowned for ‘sprucing up struggling brand names.’ The brand-new leaders aren’t utilizing unionized workers (nice), but that’s not the only method they are cutting costs-they brought Twinkies back form the dead but this time they are smaller sized.

Before the old Person hosting failed, they told the Associated Press that twinkies were 150 calories and 42.5 grams per ooze-filled sponge tube. According to USA Today, the new and punier cake-inspired junk food item are 270 calories and 77 grams for two twinkies, or 135 calories and 38.5 grams for one twinkie. Oh wow, 15 less calories. The size reduction was prepared by the old Hostess long before submitting bankruptcy in an effort to maintain themselves financially

The predecessor business also planned to extend the Twinkie shelf life from 26 to 45 days. The present business will enact this alteration and boxes of practically ever-lasting twinkies will be offered on the first day of November this year. And to think I did not even know they’d a shelf life! I thought twinkies lasted permanently like diamonds.

Twinkie enthusiasts need to be up in arms about this size reduction. These tiny flaccid treats aren’t the ones they understood and loved. This is why you don’t raise the dead. Once something dies it’s never ever the same again. Genies do not let you utilize wishes to bring enjoyed ones back to life for a reason, because Zombies are scary. And Orpheus truly screwed the pooch with that entire Persephone ordeal. Haven’t these people review The Monkey’s Paw by W.W. Jacobs? I imply, have not they ever attempted to get back together with an ex?

Story through USA Today / / Image by means of Shutterstock